bad bad friend

Just find out one of my good friend's leaving country for 3 years. And i havent meet him yet in such a long time. He texted me once last week, and i didnt reply just bcoz i was having a bad bad mood
Now i know maybe he texted me to let me know he'll be leaving soon..Good God, i'm such a bad bad friend. He just took off about 2 hours ago. And i'm not able to text him, leave alone calling him :(
He always there, whenever i need some energy boost. That's what i call him, my energy booster. Whether it's on 4 pm or 2 am, he always willing to hear my whines.. He could tell whether i'm fine or just pretending to be okay. He knew me well, too damn well.. Oh how wish him luck in his journey for success, and forgive me for having such an attitude

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”

sobbing,
jey